Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C) and prepare a 9x9 inch light metal baking pan by greasing and lining it with parchment paper.

In a food processor, combine the Earl Grey tea and culinary lavender. Pulse until finely ground and sift the mixture to remove larger bits.

In a mixing bowl, whisk together all-purpose flour, finely ground tea and lavender, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.

Cream the softened butter and granulated sugar with a mixer until pale and fluffy. Incorporate the eggs one at a time, then add the vanilla bean paste.

Gradually pour in the buttermilk, alternating with the dry ingredients, mixing just until combined.

Pour the batter into the prepared baking pan and bake for 38-44 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. Allow to cool for 30 minutes before transferring to a wire rack.

Heat the whole milk in a saucepan, steep the remaining Earl Grey tea and lavender for 15 minutes. Strain and mix with sweetened condensed milk and vanilla.

For the frosting, cream together cold cream cheese and softened butter until fluffy. Gradually add powdered sugar, stir in ground lavender and vanilla.

Once the cake is cool, poke holes throughout and drizzle the Earl Grey milk soak evenly across. Spread cream cheese frosting on top and slice into 16 pieces.